Reverbed Past?

My fingertips cry blood as they scrape across the keyboard

Clawing to escape the trench I’ve burrowed

Constantly battling with (internal) wars that can’t be won

mental parasites

emotional drawings  drawing

…leading my body to feel a combustion that can only be felt by me

 

I spend too much time within the concubine of my mind.

making love to my memories.

more like raping them for information.

trying to correct past flaws set in stone.

time has bought me here.

and I’m having a hard time trying to understand that the past…

isn’t the prerequisite for the future.

Just because something was…doesn’t mean it will be.

My insides are filled with walking paradoxes

false advertisements only to myself

for as real as I may appeal to others

in the inside I can’t see the mirror image they askew for me

Could it be that possibly…

I’ve lost myself in the recollection of my former self?

My ID has encompassed my Ego.

and at this point

there’s no outwitting my addlepated psyche.